Shizuka Mazaki
by Ezra
Summary: Jounouchi finds himself crossdressing because of a bet. What? Is that Seto? Run Jounouchi! {Warnings: Shounen Ai and Lime} {One-Shot}


{Shizuka Mazaki}

Jounouchi walked angrily down the street, shivering. Him and his stupid pride! He growled angrily. Why oh why had Shizuka made a bet with Honda? And, being the older protective brother he was, wouldn't let Shizuka out in a dress... So.. yeah. He went in her place.

In a dress...

He tripped over one of his heels. He growled again. Stupid heels. Stupid dress! How was it Anzu knew his size? And happened to have a dress that fit him perfectly... that night. He huffed angrily. Almost like they were expecting him to take Shizuka's place...

Sure, they made him up to look nice, and surprisingly enough like a girl, but the stupid conditions they had set....

To think he had to degrade himself more by walking past the popular 'Chez Armand' restaurant. There was bound to be people there tonight. There was people there every night!

Jounouchi silently prayed that he wouldn't run into anyone who would recognize him. 

"-cuse me, miss?"

He ignored the voice and continued walking.

"Excuse me, do you have the time miss?" A hand touched his shoulder.

He turned around quickly to knock the offending hand off, and yell at the man, "I--"

His eyes widened to the size of saucers when he caught who the man was.

Seto Kaiba!

Jounouchi gave a small yelp of fear, before turning around and walking off through the offending crowds of people around the restaurant.

"H-hey!" he heard Kaiba yell. Jounouchi picked up his pace, but found that crowds were harder to navigate through than he had originally thought.

After a few kicks and quite a few shoves, Jounouchi made it through, and tried as quickly as he could to get away from the scene. He was not letting Kaiba see him like this.

He felt a strong grip on his shoulder once more, and he was turned to face Kaiba.

"Are you alright, ma'am?"

Jounouchi just stared at his supposed offender.

"Miss?"

He opened his mouth to speak he was fine until he realized Kaiba still had a grip on him.

"Of course I'm fine!" he shrieked in falsetto.

Kaiba blinked at him.

"Now, if you would kindly let go..."

Kaiba stared at the girl in front of him in confusion. What was wrong with her voice? 

"Hey! Let go!" Jounouchi grasped Kaiba's hand at shrugged it off him, but as he moved to leave he tripped over his heels again.

Kaiba reached quickly forward and grasped him from behind, before dragging him back upwards towards his own body before turning around and began walking off. Of course, with every _real life_ dramatic exit, comes flaws. Jounouchi tripped. Again.

Jounouchi froze up against Kaiba's body. He could feel his face run red. 

"You okay?" Kaiba asked him.

Jounouchi nodded and placed his hands over Kaiba's to move them off. Kaiba sure was being touchy-feely tonight.

"Let go please. I wont fall." Jou's falsetto squeaked as he could feel Kaiba's grip tighten.

"You sure?" he whispered into his ear.

Jounouchi stiffened. What was Kaiba doing? "Yes, now let go." He put his hands back on Kaiba's to try and push them off again.

Kaiba didn't let go. Jounouchi sighed angrily. He was going to have to resort to extreme measures.

"Let go." He dropped the falsetto, and spoke angrily.

"Ahh!" Kaiba let go of him quickly, and backed away from Jounouchi. Jounouchi stumbled slightly from his abrupt leverage being removed.

Kaiba stared shock at him. This was no girl!

Jounouchi turned to glare at him, "That's what you get when you walk around trying to molest innocent girls, moneybags," and then he slapped a hand over his own mouth.

"I wasn't moles--" Kaiba's eyes widened in shock at the recognition, "M..Mutt?"

Jounouchi stared at him with his mouth still covered.

Kaiba's mouth twitched, holding back his laughter. This was too good. "Why exactly, are you dressed up as a woman?"

Jounouchi refused to answer. He just glared, never taking his hand away.

Kaiba finally let out the laugh he'd been holding back. He seemed to almost cackle...

Jou finally took his hand away to yell, "Hey, quit laughing!"

Kaiba's laughter died down slightly, "You look ridiculous."

Jounouchi glared. "I fooled you, didn't I?"

Kaiba stopped laughing.

They stared at each other for a moment before a loud voice rang out. "Mr. Kaiba!"

Kaiba seemed to freeze in his spot. Jounouchi watched as a middle-aged man parted through the crowds and walked towards the two.

"Mr. Kaiba! There you are! Are we ready to go in?"

Kaiba seemed to regain his composure, and nodded towards the man.

"Ah, and who's your lady friend, hm?"

To this, Jounouchi froze. What was he supposed to do now?

Kaiba seemed at a loss for words as well. The man smiled, "Ah, you shy? Is she a new girlfriend? It's about time, Kaiba! I was beginning to worry about you!"

Jounouchi smirked at this bit of information. He could finally pay back the rich bastard for all the humiliation he had done to him. He stepped up to Kaiba, and took hold of his hand.

"Yes," he spoke in falsetto, "I'm his girlfriend," an inward wince and a pause before, "Please excuse my voice tonight though, I'm just getting over a terrible cold." 

Kaiba stared at Jounouchi. He could feel his insides churning. What was the mutt doing?!

Jounouchi just smiled at the frozen teen next to him and squeezed his hand.

"Ah! That's quite alright, young lady. I must say, Mr. Kaiba, very nice choice! She may just be a keeper!" The middle aged man, Jou assumed now to be an associate, laughed and turned around to walk towards the front door.

Kaiba suddenly squeezed Jou's hand back. Hard. Jou made a small noise of pain. Kaiba suddenly jerked him towards the crowds again, following the man through the crowds.

They made it to inside the restaurant, where the man stood with two other people. He assumed them to be his wife and son. 

"Ah, here they are! Honey, Satoshi, meet Seto Kaiba and his girlfriend.. oh. Um, I seemed to have forgotten to ask her name!"

Jounouchi froze. Kaiba smirked down to the blonde. 'Let's see how he gets himself out of this.'

Jounouchi thought quickly. He knew plenty of girls! Why at this very moment couldn't he think of any?!

So, he finally said the first thing that came from his mouth, "Oh.. um, Mazaki Shizuka. Nice to meet you." And he bowed. Internally he was smacking his head like a mad man. That was the best he could come up with?! 

He leaned back up, and smiled respectfully. The older man smiled towards his wife and son, "Ah yes, Mazaki Shizuka."

Kaiba merely raised an eyebrow at the name. 'That was truly the best name he could come up with?'

"Mr. Kaiba, Miss Mazaki, this is my wife Kaguya and son Satoshi. And, Miss Mazaki, I am Rakuda Koyashi." At this name, Jounouchi choked with laughter. Rakuda Koyashi. Camel Dung! Jounouchi realized the groups stares and suddenly turned his laughter into a fit of coughs. 

Mr. Rakuda stepped forward, "Miss Mazaki, are you alright?"

Jounouchi nodded, hiding this smile underneath his hand. Kaiba elbowed him.

"_Shizuka_, dear... Are you _alright?_" Kaiba's voice was edging on dangerous. Jou sobered and nodded towards him.

"I'm so sorry. I'm not sure what... um, caused that. I'm fine though," and he flashed a reassuring smile towards Mr. Rakuda.

After the pleasantries, the waiter finally came up to show them to their tables. The five of them followed the waiter as he lead the to their seats.

Kaiba was suddenly close to his own as he whispered angrily, "I did not appreciate that at all."

Jounouchi smiled wickedly up to him. "What did you expect Kaiba? His name was camel dung!" he whispered back.

Kaiba elbowed him again. Jounouchi whined slightly. If Kaiba kept doing that, he was going to get a bruise...

"You can't ruin this for me, _Shizuka_. This is going to be a very important account for Kaiba Corp."

"Oh, you poor thing. Losing a little money. I feel _so_ bad for you," Katsuya stared blankly towards Kaiba. The damn money grubber.

"Just don't do anything suspicious. It's bad enough you're even here."

"Well, if you hadn't tried molesting me!" he whispered furiously.

"I wasn't moles--" he was cut off my the waiter's voice.

"You're table..." he motioned towards the booth.

Katsuya and Kaiba looked on at the table as the Rakuda's got into the table. They must have realized the "couple" would want to sit next to each other. Jou just hadn't realized what a closed space it indeed was.

But he climbed into the seat followed by Kaiba. Jou tried to scoot as far away from Kaiba as he could, but ended up running into the son. What was it, Satobi? Satoshi? Yeah. Satoshi. The teenager stared at Jounouchi. He disregarded it. Until he realized the kid wasn't looking at him. It was a certain part. A certain... voluptuous part.

He suddenly felt sort of violated. He moved back to Kaiba. The kid was kinda scary. Was this how girls felt? And then he suddenly thought about the real Shizuka... Was She ever stared at like this?! Oh! Now he was never letting any boy ever look at her again! He was resolved.

"So, Miss Mazaki," Kaguya started, "My husband tells me you were just getting over being sick?"

"Oh yes. But I'm feeling much better! It's just my voice just doesn't seem to want to."

"Oh you poor dear. Mean ole' Seto drag you out here tonight?" her voice was in jest as she smiled kindly towards him.

Katsuya paused. This was it. He could make Kaiba out to be a real asshole by just telling Mrs. Rakuda that he had dragged him out to the restaurant. No one would want to make deals with such an asshole. Why would they want to trust that? And Kaiba seemed to know this too. However, Jou wasn't in the malicious mood at the moment, and made the quick decision to answer in Kaiba's favor.

"Oh," Jou giggled, "Seto actually insisted that I stayed home, but I knew this was important for him." Jou placed a hand atop Kaiba's, who seemed to stiffen under his touch. Jounouchi inwardly smirked, but smiled nicely up to Kaiba.

"Isn't that right, dear?" Kaiba could feel himself flush at the attention.

"Y-yeah. Um, Yes. That's right," he smiled up to Mrs. Rakuda, "She just insisted on coming."

"Well! What a devoted girlfriend you are, Shizuka dear." 

Jounouchi smiled, and took his hand back.

The waiter showed back up at the table a moment later. He smiled charmingly towards Jou, who merely raised an eyebrow, before asking for drink orders.

Kaiba went first ordering water. Jounouchi ordered the same, as did the Rakuda's. Satoshi asked for wine. At which Jounouchi only snorted at. No way the kid was at drinking age. (1) The waiter asked for his ID, which he gave. The man scrutinized the ID before nodding, and handed back. Jounouchi stared at the boy... well, man, next to him.

Satoshi smirked at Jounouchi, and then winked. He suddenly felt even more violated.

He unconsciously scooted closer to Kaiba. Kaiba merely raised an eyebrow, before looking at Satoshi. It was obvious the guy was staring at Jounouchi's.. assets. Kaiba rolled his eyes, before placing an arm around Jounouchi's shoulders.

Jou froze slightly, but realized this way, Satoshi would stop looking at him. He leaned stiffly into Kaiba.

Satoshi seemed to get the picture and looked away. The other two Rakuda's were looking questioningly at the two.

Kaiba smiled slightly towards the couple before turning to Jou, "You alright, Shizuka?"

Jounouchi smiled tightly towards him, before grabbing Kaiba's hand and shrugging it off discreetly. "Just fine."

Kaiba nodded, and returned his gaze to the couple. Their attention seemed to have wandered.

The waiter returned with their drinks, and asked for their food orders. Jou realized he had yet to even look the menu. He picked it up and suddenly realized with a panic... it was all in _French!!_

He opened it completely to block out the Rakuda's in front of him. He leaned over so only Kaiba could hear him.

"Kaiba!" he whispered furiously, "_Kaiba!!_" Kaiba leaned over.

"What? What is it?" he was obviously irritated.

"I... I can't read anything on this menu!" Kaiba's mouth twitch humorously.

"Don't you dare laugh at me. It'll be embarrassing for you too, if your _girlfriend_ can't order correctly." Kaiba scowled immediately.

"Fine." He sighed and looked over the menu with Jou. After a few moments of deliberation, Kaiba smirked towards Jounouchi.

"What's that for? You better not let me order something funny."

"Oh, I would never do that, dear."

Jounouchi was not amused.

"Order the Ratatouille Provençal."

Jounouchi raised an eyebrow, "What's in that?"

Kaiba smirked. "You're just going to have to trust me."

"I trust you about as far as I can throw you," he paused, "which we both know isn't very far."

"You had been trying to throw me?"

Jounouchi glared.

The waiter's voice came through again, "Are you ready to order?"

Kaiba and Jou both looked up in surprise, before Kaiba ordered some food Jou didn't recognize at all.

Jounouchi ordered his food just as Kaiba pronounced it, which was apparently correct, because the waiter nodded and left the moment he finished nodding it down; but not before taking the menus.

"So Kaiba, shall we get down to business?" Mr. Rakuda's voice came out.

"Of course." Kaiba's voice became very business-like.

"If I'm going to buy your product, Mr. Kaiba, I'm still going to need some product feedback. I assume you've tested it out before."

"Of course. I had a tournament that used the machine."

"Ah!" his voice sounded very pleased.

"Tournament?" Jounouchi suddenly chimed in.

Kaiba stiffened slightly, but answered, "Battle City."

Jounouchi's eyes widened slightly. "If you don't' mind my asking, " his gaze turned away from Kaiba, to Mr. Rakuda, "What product were you planning on?"

"Oh? Kaiba, you didn't tell her?" he laughed in good humor, "He's selling the Duel Disk system to play the cards. We're planning on bringing it to America for a larger market."

Jounouchi's mouth shaped an 'o'. 

"Battle City was a sort of... demonstration for the machine," Kaiba told Jou.

Jou smiled slightly, "So, what? We were guinea pigs?"

Kaiba frowned. 

Mr. Rakuda spoke to Jou suddenly, "You participated in Battle City?"

Jou's eyes widened in surprise. Oh, why had he said that?

"Oh. Um, well, no, not me exactly. I was there to cheer on my.. my um cousin and his friends."

To this, Kaiba raised an eyebrow.

Mr. Rakuda interest seemed piqued though, "Were you? Who were your friends? I might recognize the names!"

Jounouchi smiled uncomfortably, "Oh. Um. They were Moutou Yugi and Jounouchi Katsuya. Katsuya is my cousin." Jou looked down, cheeks flushed. Oh god. What a twisted lie he'd gotten himself messed up in. 

Kaiba stood suddenly and informed the table that he needed to use the restroom. Jounouchi stared at him in shock. How could Kaiba leave him like that? He lowered his head again.

The Rakuda's however just nodded. They were still focused on the names.

Suddenly, "Moutou and Jounouchi?! I recognize those names!"

Jounouchi's head popped up. It was Mrs. Rakuda who had spoken aloud.

"Moutou Yugi was the winner of the Duelist Kingdom tournament, dear. I believe that Jounouchi was the runner up. It was reported that they are close friends though. Don't you remember? We watched the news special on them!"

Mr. Rakuda seemed to think for a moment, before an obvious realization came to him, "Oh yes. I recall that now!"

Jounouchi raised an eyebrow. When had there been a news show on him and Yugi?

"So, you're related to the boy? Cousin you say?"

Jounouchi nodded mutely. Mr. Rakuda leaned over. "Did they report they didn't like it? Was there a lot of malfunctions?"

Jounouchi faintly wanted to tell the man that they were horrible machines, and they constantly malfunctioned just to spite Kaiba. How could Kaiba leave him alone with these people? Especially with the weird son who kept staring at him! But somehow he still couldn't bring himself to be so malicious. Damn. He was getting to soft for Kaiba.

Jounouchi smiled anyway, "No, in fact both of them said that they really enjoyed using the disks. It made their battles a lot easier and a lot more fun to play."

Mr. Rakuda leaned back satisfied into his booth seat. If the game king liked the product, surely the American retail shopper would appreciate it.

Kaiba appeared once more at the table, and took his seat next to Jounouchi.

"Hello dear."

Kaiba nodded towards Jou, and looked faintly stricken at the smile on Mr. Rakuda's face.

His fears increased after Mr. Rakuda said, "Well, Mr. Kaiba, now I can say that I've made my decision. You can thank your girlfriend for helping me come to it as well."

Kaiba stared shock at the man, and then at Jounouchi. He glared. Jounouchi was taken slightly aback.

Mr. Rakuda laughed in good nature, "No worries Mr. Kaiba. I can assure you, our American market will now enjoy your product because of her." 

Jounouchi smiled at Kaiba broadly. Kaiba looked shocked, before smiling slightly.

He turned towards Mr. Rakuda, "So, we have a deal?"

Mr. Rakuda smiled and nodded, and stuck out his hand to shake Kaiba's. Kaiba did the same, and a moment later the food arrived.

The dishes were passes around, and the Ratatouille Provençal was set in front of him. ...It was pasta. He was faintly surprised. He had thought that Kaiba was going to have him order lamb brain or something like that.

He looked at Kaiba who seemed to be already looking at him, smirking. He leaned closer to Jou, and then whispered, "I told you, you just had to trust me," and he leaned back up.

The Rakuda's were smiling at the couple. Ah.. young love at it's best.

Jounouchi's stare lingered a moment too long, but he turned back to the table and picked up his fork. He brought it down to his plate, and wrapped some noodles around it. He began bringing it up to his mouth, but suddenly stopped at the feeling of someone's hand on him right knee.

He looked to his left where Kaiba was sitting. No. Couldn't be Kaiba. He could _see_ both of Kaiba's hands. ...Not that Kaiba would touch him anyway. The hand moved suddenly up his leg.

He stiffened. Not only was he feeling extremely ...and strangely violated, he was angry. He glared over at Satoshi. How dare this guy touch another guy's girlfriend?!

And ...He would think about the weirdness of that particular statement later.

And how dare this guy touch _him_ without his permission!?

Jounouchi switched his fork in his hands. Sometimes it was cool being ambidextrous. He brought a fisted right hand down onto Satoshi's. The man winced, and Jounouchi smiled. That bastard.

Kaiba looked down to Jounouchi at the commotion. Jounouchi faked a smile, before asking, "How's your food, dear?"

Kaiba's eyebrows raised slightly, "It's good. Yours?"

Jounouchi looked down to his fork, which still held the fist bite. He put it in his mouth, and swallowed. It was good!

"It's good," he smiled towards Kaiba. Kaiba nodded.

Jounouchi moved his fork down to get another bite, before he froze. That damn hand was back on his knee. Jounouchi froze. That _bastard_!

Satoshi's hand made it's way slowly up Jou's leg. Once it reached the middle of his thigh, it stopped. Jounouchi clenched his fist, ready to knock the hand off again, but it moved quickly up his leg more. Jounouchi stood quickly, his legs knocking the table slightly.

That was a might to close for comfort. 

Kaiba and the Rakuda's looked at Jounouchi in confusion.

He needed a quick lie. He couldn't say that their bastard son was feeling him up!

"Uh.. Um," a pause, and then a groan, "Oh, jeez. I just realized this has mushrooms!" Jou looked down to Kaiba.

"Dear, you know I'm allergic to mushrooms! I need to get to the bathroom." Kaiba stared at him in shock, before standing up. Jounouchi rushed out of the room towards the restrooms.

The four left at the table watched "her" go.

Kaiba sighed. Obviously, something was wrong other than mushrooms. He'd seen Jounouchi eat mushrooms before. He shuddered. It wasn't a pleasant memory. ...Watching Jounouchi eat wasn't a pleasant at all. But he figured that if he didn't follow his "girlfriend", the Rakuda's would be surprised. Or maybe angered. Or.. .. he didn't want to think about their reactions anymore.

Kaiba turned to the Rakuda's, "I'm going to go see if she's alright."

They nodded their agreement, and he headed towards the bathrooms.

--

When Jounouchi reached the restroom's, he wasn't sure which he needed to go into, but decided since he was dressed up as a girl, he might as well go into the applicable bathroom.

He paced. How dare that guy touch him like that?! He decided now he was never _ever_ letting Shizuka near any man that he didn't know. He felt so violated, and he was a guy!

His anger grew. The bastard knew he was supposedly dating Kaiba too! Yet he had no respect for another guy's girlfriend.

He blinked. ...That was still a strange comment. But the anger overrode his confusion. The bastard!!

He punched the tiled wall. His skin scraped against the grout. And then he punched again.

That bastard. How dare he touch him?! Another punch. And he was going to have to go back and sit next to the sleaze-ball again. 

Another punch to the wall. 

He was suddenly disgusted with himself. How could he let that guy do that to himself? This time he threw both hands against the wall.

And again. And then he noticed the blood on the wall. He paused, and looked at his knuckles. Nicely bloody.

Jou sighed. "Fuck."

He sat down on the waiting couch. And then he realized that there was a couch. Why wasn't there one in the men's bathroom?

The lady's door opened again, and he looked to see who it was.

There stood Kaiba.

Jou sighed, and looked away. He wrapped his arms around himself. "You aren't supposed to be in here, you know."

Kaiba chuckled, "Well, technically, neither are you."

Jou's mouth twisted. That was true.

"So, what's wrong?"

Jou stared up at him, "Nothing. I said I was allergic to mushrooms."

Kaiba snorted, "Yeah right. Mokuba's allergic to mushrooms. I know what happens. Besides, I've seen you eat them before. Not a nice memory, let me assure you." Jou glared angrily up to Kaiba, until he noticed the playful smirk on his lips.

Jou smiled slightly, and brought a hand up to his mouth to cover it. 

Kaiba gasped lightly, "What happened to your hand?" 

Jou realized it was the bloody one, and tucked it under his other one quickly.

"Nothing."

Kaiba stared down disbelievingly. "Nothing? There's blood on the wall. Obviously it's not nothing."

Jou sighed, "I got angry."

"At what?" Kaiba kneeled down in front of Jou, and stared. Jou looked kind of pretty that way...

Jou shook his head, and looked away from Kaiba.

Kaiba stared at the teen in front of him, before reaching out, and taking the hurt hand.

Jounouchi's focus came back to him in shock.

Kaiba held the hand to his chest. "What did you tell Mr. Rakuda?"

Jou sighed, and relaxed slightly, however still slightly uncomfortable with the fact that Kaiba was holding his hand. "I just told him what me n' Yug' thought of your system. Well, Katsuya me."

Kaiba raised an eyebrow. "Although, I had half a mind to just tell him that we hated it. Why did you just leave like that?"

"Truthfully, I didn't want to stick around to hear your painful lie." Kaiba smirked.

"Yeah well, while you got away, you left me alone with their perverted son!"

"What?" Kaiba smirked.

Jounouchi glared, and pulled his hand away from Kaiba's. "You left me with their perverted son. It's why I came in here."

"What? Did his face offend you? I know he's not the most att--"

"No! He felt me up, the asshole."

Kaiba blinked.

"He what?"

Jounouchi rolled his eyes. "I'm sure you heard. He felt me up."

Kaiba's smirk turned into a smile, as he tried to hold back his laughter.

"It's not funny! The guy was feeling me up, even though he knew I'm supposed to be your girlfriend. And! Without my permission."

At this, Kaiba began laughing. Jou glared at him.

"Th-that's why you ran in here? Cause the guy probably put an accidental hand on your knee..." He snorted with laughter. He stood, and moved to sit next to Jou on the couch.

"It wasn't accidental."

"Mmhmm."

"I'm serious! It was more than once too!"

"Sure. But I'm sure it was no reason to..." he stopped, and cracked up with laughter, "to get you panties in a twist." And this he burst out laughing again.

Jou idly wondered if the water Kaiba had been drinking was spiked, but found himself becoming more and more irritated. Finally deciding that Kaiba needed to know just exactly how Jou had felt, he was resolved to proceed with extreme measures.

Jou reached a hand over to Kaiba's leg, and set it there gently. Kaiba immediately stopped laughing. Jou smiled, and looked up to Kaiba. Kaiba just stared at his hand on his knee.

Jou squeezed lightly, and moved his hand a little further up. Kaiba seemed to freeze underneath his hand. Jou licked his lips, and brought his hand back down to Kaiba's knee.

"...Kaiba.." he whispered, and suddenly he flipped himself so he was strattling Kaiba, "The guy was constantly touching me. And what's worse..." he paused and slipped a hand underneath Kaiba's shirt, "I didn't even know the guy. It'd be the," another pause as he ran a few fingers over the teen's nipples, Kaiba's breath seemed to shorten, "equivalent of me... of me doing the malevolent thing I could ever do to you." And so he did.

Jou leaned down and placed his mouth fully over Kaiba's. If it was possible, Kaiba froze a little more, and tried to lean away from the kiss. Jounouchi reached up and grabbed Kaiba's head to keep it in place, and continued. He pushed a little harder onto the teens lips, nipping and biting softly. However, Jou was surprised at how long it was taking Kaiba to get over his shock and push him off.

But his surprise increased greatly when Kaiba opened his mouth under him, and began returning it. Jounouchi made a small sound of surprise and tried pulling back, but found it impossible. Kaiba had a secure grip on Jou's mid-section. Jou opened his eyes slightly to look at the Kaiba. He seemed to be into it. 

Jou inwardly shrugged. He might as well go along with it. He may be a guy, but how many people can say they kissed Seto Kaiba?!

...He would think about the illogic and strangeness of that comment later.

He closed his eyes again, and pushed himself back into the kiss. Jou ran his tongue lightly over Kaiba's bottom lip, before biting lightly. Kaiba opened his mouth more to give Jou better access. Which Jou took full advantage of. He brought his right hand back down from Kaiba's head, and put it against his chest, and pushed inside. He ran his fingers lightly over Kaiba's nipples, and the teen gasped into his mouth.

He moved his mouth away from Kaiba's, and moved it slowly down his chin, and onto his neck. He flicked his tongue out against it, and moved his mouth to suck lightly. He moved down to suck on Kaiba's collar bone, as he tweaked the nipple he had been playing with. Kaiba gasped, and Jou suddenly stopped.

This was going a little bit too far. He pulled back to stare at Kaiba, who was staring back at him. Silence reigned throughout the bathroom. Jou could feel anger well up inside him. That wasn't what was supposed to happen!

Jou huffed and glared at Kaiba. Then smacked him on the back of the head, "You weren't supposed to do that!"

Kaiba blinked and rubbed the tender spot and glared back at Jou, "You started it!"

"Yes, but I was supposed to be proving a point! You were supposed to feel violated! Not," a pause, "Not turned on!" and he pointed down to Kaiba's mid-section.

Kaiba rolled his eyes and looked away from Jounouchi; inwardly, quite embarrassed about the whole situation.

Jounouchi sighed, and moved to get off Kaiba. He walked over to the sinks and looked into the mirror. And then froze in horror.

"Oh.. Oh shit!"

Kaiba's head shot over to Jounouchi, and quickly walked over to him, "What is it?"

Jounouchi's eyes widened at his reflection as he spoke softly, "My... my makeup is smudged."

Seto blinked. Then began to laugh.

Katsuya glared angrily at him, "Kaiba! I don't have any other makeup to fix it with! I can't go back out like this."

Kaiba stopped laughing. 

Jounouchi sighed, "What're we going to do?"

Kaiba's mouth twisted in thought, "You can't just take it off?"

Jounouchi looked at him flatly, "Kaiba... You can't honestly say that I look feminine enough without makeup to pass as a girl." 

Kaiba stared back.

At the silence, Jou punched Kaiba in the arm, "You jerk! I'm not really girly looking, am I? I'm not _pretty_... am I?"

Kaiba smiled lightly to him.

Jounouchi rolled his eyes, and looked back at the mirror. And sighed. He really _was_ girly looking, wasn't he? 

Jounouchi smiled in the mirror towards the brown-haired teen next to him, "I'm not prettier than Ryou, though!"

Kaiba laughed, "True."

"We have to go back out there, you know. They're going to wonder what we're doing..." Jounouchi trailed off.

Kaiba's "business" expression came back as he tried to think of a solution.

"And.. I really don't want to sit by that creepy guy again. Remind me never to let Shizuka date. Ever."

Kaiba smirked lightly. "It looks like were just going to have to sneak you out of here. They already know that you're not feeling well. Keh.. mushrooms... right," he scoffed.

Jounouchi dead-panned at the mushroom comment, but agreed with Kaiba. They needed to get out of there. Well... he did anyway.

"Are you going to stay?" he asked suddenly.

Kaiba looked at him strangely, "Why wouldn't I?"

Jounouchi blinked, and suddenly looked down. Why _wouldn't_ Kaiba stay? Just cause he made out with him didn't mean he actually wanted anything more.

And he blinked again. This was _Kaiba!_ Why was he thinking about Kaiba this way?! His anger suddenly rekindled, Jounouchi glared back up at Kaiba.

"You're right, moneybags. I don't know what I was thinking. Why _wouldn't_ you. I was just suddenly reminded who I was with." And he stalked towards the door.

Kaiba's eyes widened at Jounouchi as he almost opened the door. He quickly ran to him, and grabbed him from behind. 

"You can't go out there! They'll see you!" 

"Hey! Let go of me!" Jounouchi struggled, "You think I care if they see me?"

"I care if they see you! How would I explain my _girlfriend, _who mind you doesn't look remotely like a girl at the moment, storming out of the girls bathroom?" he pulled the struggling teen against his chest.

"I don't care! You figure it out!" and suddenly stopped struggling, "You don't think I look like a girl?"

Kaiba froze. This wasn't going to be good...

"And I'm still pretty?" Jounouchi tried to turn to look up at Kaiba, but only succeeded in turning his upper half.

Kaiba looked down to him in silence.

Jounouchi scoffed, "I always thought you were _gay_." He pushed himself away from Kaiba and glared up to him.

Kaiba was staring at the ground. 

Jounouchi sneered at him. "You fucking queer."

Kaiba glanced up to him and glared.

Katsuya mock gasped, "Oh.. Did I hurt your feelings?"

Kaiba was silent.

Jou snorted and turned to leave again. Kaiba let him go. As the door closed, Kaiba slid down the wall of the bathroom. He sighed and tucked his head under his hands. That was certainly an odd change of events. Jounouchi didn't seem to mind him kissing him earlier... What made him act so differently? Maybe he got scared?

Kaiba sighed and sat back up after about two minutes, and decided he was gone long enough. Mr. Rakuda must be really worried. They had probably been out for ten minutes now...

Kaiba walked silently back to the table. The Rakuda's watched him as he approached. Mr. Rakuda stood, and shook Kaiba's hand.

"I'm assuming Miss Mazaki went home. She must have been very sick.. The poor girl," Kaiba nodded, "but, It looks like we're ready to go, Mr. Kaiba. Thank you for your time, and you should expect an invoice in your inbox within two days." Mr. Rakuda smiled.

Kaiba smiled back and bowed. They followed each other over to the front of the restaurant, and Kaiba offered to pay for them all. Mr. Rakuda insisted that he pay, and afterwards the all spoke their departing pleasantries before leaving.

--

Jounouchi was storming down the road in an angry rage. Why had he said that? Why, why, why?! No, he knew why. It was Kaiba! No matter how happy he was Kaiba was gay, because he may hate the guy, he had to admit he was gorgeous... He still _hated _him! They we're forever enemies! One night wasn't going to change their relationship.

He slowed down once he knew he was far enough away from the restaurant. It hadn't been _that_ offensive to Kaiba.. had it? What he said? He crossed his arms in thought.

This was really confusing. He knew himself to be bi-sexual. He knew he liked boys.. he liked girls too. Especially Mai... And her.. assets... And he paused in thought. 

Mai must feel violated all day! What with her outfit and all.. Did she like when men stared at her chest? No... he was getting off track here.

Honda's house came into view, and he hurried towards the door. He knocked loudly, and Anzu opened the door.

"You're back!" she laughed, and opened the door more to let him in.

Honda was coming down the stairs with his normal clothes already in hand. He threw them towards Jounouchi. "I take it you didn't have a nice experience? You look moody again."

Jounouchi gave him a weird look, before running to the bathroom to change and wipe the annoying makeup off his face. He changed, and had never felt more relieved to be in his own clothes. 

He went to wipe the makeup off, which came off fairly easy... except the eyeliner. He scrubbed a little harder at his eyes, but the damn stuff wasn't coming off!

In fear, he yelled, "Anzu! Help me!"

Anzu was immediately at the door panting, worried, "What?? What's wrong?"

Jounouchi looked scared towards her, "It's not coming off!"

Anzu face-faulted, "What isn't?"

"The eyeliner!" he whined, "It's not coming off!"

"Oh! Hehe... actually, I put the 48 hour eyeliner on you. It wont come off till tomorrow... (2)"

Jou looked at her in disbelief, "What??!"

"Eh..hehe.. sorry Jounouchi. Just try not to smear it." and she left the bathroom.

Jou glared after her, and looked back into the mirror once she was gone. It actually... was kinda pretty. It made his eyes stand out. He sighed. He should probably go apologize to Kaiba. 

But the bastard was Kaiba! ...But he obviously liked him... Kaiba wouldn't have kissed him back if he didn't...

He looked into the mirror a little longer, and finally asked himself why he was letting this pass him up? Kaiba was gorgeous... anyone with _eyes_ could see that. And Kaiba was at least _physically _attracted to him... 

He walked out of the bathroom, and found Honda and Anzu making out on the couch. He lifted an eyebrow to this, but went to grab his tennis shoes. After getting them on, he turned to his friends again, ...who were still making out. He coughed politely to catch their attention, but had no such luck in getting it. 

Katsuya rolled his eyes, and walked out of the house. Now.. which way to Kaiba's?

It was probably half an hour before he found the place. He should have remembered that it was the only mansion in Domino City. It also had the best security system. He sighed angrily at himself, before thinking about how to assess the situation. 

He resolved to just climb the wall and try to make it to the front door without... being blasted by a laser or whatever Kaiba had in here.

He walked to the side of the wall, and reached up to climb over. Once he reached the top, he grabbed hold of it, flipped himself around, and slid down to the ground, where he landed easily.

Now to make it to the front door. He snuck towards the closest tree, and stood behind it. He peaked around the corner, suddenly feeling like a spy from one of those old American movies.. James Bond... 

In an odd act of immaturity, he began humming the tune as he snuck towards front door, hiding behind each tree he came across.

"Dun dun, duh dah, dun dun, duh da, du-aggh.. oof," he had fallen. _Again!_

He growled, pounded a fist into the ground, and moved to get up. But was suddenly pushed into the ground again, with another resounding, "Ooof". By a ... foot? He turned as far around as he could, and found an angry Seto Kaiba glaring down at him.

"Eh.. heh heh. Hi?"

The pressure on Jou's back mounted before he spoke, "What are you doing here, mutt?"

Jou tried to lift himself in a push-up like manner, but found the pressure too much, "Could you let me up, so I can tell you?"

He was pushed back into the ground again, "No."

Jou sighed fitfully. He suddenly brought an arm around, and jammed a hand into the back of the supporting knee. Kaiba immediately lost his balance and fell to the ground. Jounouchi quickly climbed on top of him locking Kaiba's hands to the ground. 

Jou smirked at Kaiba's glare, "I guess I'll talk down here then."

"Let me up. Now." His voice was dangerously even.

Jou only smirked again, "No. You're going to listen."

Kaiba merely sneered.

Jou's smirk dropped, and he stared at the teen under him. He was suddenly highly aware of their position; Kaiba sprawled underneath him, himself between the teen's legs. But he decided to ignore this highly... suggestive position.

He sighed, "I'm sorry I left the table," he paused, "And, I'm sorry I walked out completely, and I really hope you get that account," he paused again. Kaiba was looking up at him with a confused look on his face.

"And.. I mean.. I think it's pretty obvious that I don't care if you're gay," he smirked lightly down at the teen, "I probably wouldn't have kissed you in the first place if I didn't feel any attraction."

Kaiba's eyes widened. Why was he telling him this?

"So.. I guess, thanks for the eventful night, and um.. thanks for not ordering me lamb brain, too."

At this Kaiba blinked surprised, "Why ... why are you telling me this?"

Jounouchi shrugged, and looked in his eyes, "It's the polite thing to do, don't you think?"

Kaiba snorted, "Since when do you care abou--" and he was cut off.

Jounouchi leaned forward, and pressed his lips against Kaiba's. Within a few seconds, he pulled back, and smiled lightly down to Kaiba.

"Well, see you at school." He sat up, and looked down to Kaiba.

He looked really hot laying down like that... Really _really_ hot. ...And strangely endearing with the confused look on his face.

Jounouchi stared a little longer before finally moving to stand.

"...Wait," Seto's voice sounded out with a sigh.

And Jounouchi paused. He sat up, stared for an awkward moment, and took Katsuya's hand. Before a small pause, "Your hand is bleeding again."

He looked down. So it was! He must have reopened the... ..What was Kaiba doing? Jounouchi sat down against his calves, and watched Kaiba. He was running his thumb back and forth over his knuckles, his other hand running lightly over the bottom of his fingers.

Kaiba was staring intently at Jounouchi's hand. He flipped it over, and ran his fingers softly over his palm. Jounouchi could only watch, feeling strange tingles go through him every time Kaiba would reach the tips of them. Kaiba grabbed Jounouchi's other hand, and flipped it over as well, examining it.

Silence reigned for several minutes until:

"You have nice hands," he whispered. He gripped Jou's fingers, and ran his thumb over the backs of them.

Jou smiled lightly at Kaiba, "You have a hand fetish?"

Kaiba shrugged and snickered, "It's nicer than feet."

Jounouchi laughed out loud, "True," He took his hands away from Kaiba, running them through the teens hair. "I like really soft hair," he ran his fingers through it again, "You should know I'll have to constantly be touching your hair now."

Kaiba laughed lightly, and leaned into Jou's hand. Jou moved to position his knees between Kaiba's legs, and pulled Kaiba's head against the middle of his chest. 

They remained in that position for a long while, just enjoying the feel of someone against them. 

Kaiba was the first one to speak, "We'll never make it in a relationship," it came out a whisper.

Jounouchi nodded his agreement, "Yeah..." he whispered back.

"We'd argue everyday."

"Yup."

"It would have to always be a secret. If it got out that I was gay, my company would go down the drain."

"Wouldn't want _that_ now, would we?" 

Kaiba looked up to look at Jou and narrowed his eyes, "I find you completely annoying."

Jou looked down, amused, "Well, I think you're an obnoxious money grubber... I'd say we're pretty even."

Kaiba snickered lightly, and put his head back against, "I bet we'd have great sex, though."

Jou nodded, "Oh yeah."

"And, you make a pretty hot girlfriend."

Jounouchi raised an eyebrow, "Is that a badly placed pun?" a pause, "And besides, you would _so_ be the girl."

Kaiba scoffed, and leaned away from Jounouchi, "I don't think so!"

"Oh, I do, _dear_," Jou leaned down and licked the side of Kaiba's cheek, "You're the one who spread his legs as soon as he was on the ground..."

"Wha..." Kaiba looked down at their position, "...Oh." He laughed lightly, and leaned back into Jounouchi.

Jou ran his fingers through Kaiba's hair again, both falling back into silence.

After a moment Jou pulled back and looked down at Kaiba, "Am I really _that_ feminine looking?"

Kaiba looked up at him, "Well... The eyeliner doesn't really help your case any."

"Anzu put the 48 hour eyeliner on me," he sighed.

"I think it's sexy."

Jou looked down shocked at Kaiba, "Do you?"

"Oh yes. I think you should wear it more often."

Jou snickered, "Just for you." Jou moved to stand.

"Where are _you_ going?"

"We can get more comfortable inside, don't you think?" Jou winked.

"You already want me in bed, hm?" Kaiba cocked an eyebrow.

"What?" he feigned mock surprise in falsetto, "Whatever do you mean dear? I only meant we go sit on the couch!"

"Mhmm.."

"Who knew you could be such a pervert, dear?" Jounouchi leaned down and grabbed for Kaiba's hand and pulled him up, pulling deliberately too hard, causing Kaiba to fall into him. 

Jounouchi pulled both hands around Kaiba's back, and kissed the side of his cheek.

"Oh my," he spoke, still in fallsetto, "And you called _me_ eager?"

Kaiba pulled away, and grabbed Jou's hand, dragging him towards the house.

"Shut up, _Shizuka_."

--

(1) Japan does not have a drinking age... But, for the sake of the story, I put one in there. ^^

(2) Eh heh... hehe No.. there is no 48 hour make-up. _ Any girl (or boy) who wears make up would know this. XD It would not be fun to have 48 hour make up.

Ezra: Wheee! That was the longest one-shot I've ever done! And it was a romance/comedy! *_* No, no worries, no one died. XD

Betty: Yeah.. XP But everyone is _going_ to die of shock because you wrote a humor story.

Ezra: haha.. True

Betty: Before you all die, please leave a review. ^___^

Ezra: Anyway, a note to anyone who really likes S/J: I _loooooved_ S/J, but it really wouldn't work. Because, you know you've read the stories where Kaiba comes out gay to the press. Nope. Wouldn't work. That's what we call "political suicide" You just don't do it if you actually want to have a reasonably good reputation.

Also, Seto wouldn't quit his life's work for love. _ You know who you are, you authoresses, you. XP Yes, that means I've read them before. Come on peeps. No matter how much Seto loves a person, he wouldn't cut off his life's work for it. At least I don't think he would. XD

Why am I ranting? Well, sadly, this is going to be the last S/J story I write. (For a long while, anyway) ^^ I've grown a new fondness for Jou/Bakura (thank you Hy-chan) Jou/Malik (Hy-Chan, again) and Jou/Anzu? Yes. Jou/Anzu. XD Anzu isn't the snotty, arrogant, stuck up bitch some people make her out to be. lol. Plus, I like seeing Seto with Ryou and Bakura. Those are nice stories. ^^ Wheefun.

Love to anyone who's actually read this. *glomp*


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